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What Would You Say If You Had Held Someone Back?

This article is about a situation I recently found myself in where the person I was “working” on was not showing any indication of wanting to help me with the assignments I was requesting. My question to this person was, why would he or she do this? And when I put it to him or her, the answer was very apparent. They said they were trying to be helpful and make me look good, but after they had done that, they started having doubts about me. These doubts, in turn, resulted in them NOT helping me at all. It is obvious these persons thought they were helping me, when in reality, they were holding me back from reaching my full potential.

Now the question I asked my client was, “What would you say your attitude has been to this situation?” Now as someone who understands this, I know exactly what I would have responded with if I were working with this person. To put it in very simple terms, I would have told him or her to forget what I had told them and help me achieve my goals. This was a difficult task because this person didn’t want to help me, but was simply holding me back by his or her own words. I wanted to teach this person who disliked my video to see things my way instead of to think, which was an obvious turn off for him or her. So I took the first step and said; “Look I’m sorry about this and I hope you can forgive me for it. But if you’re really going to help me, I need to do better.”

There is no doubt in my mind who disliked my video! And he or she realized what he or she had done, and actually wanted to help me instead of hold me back. So in that moment, there was a real transformation happening that changed our dynamic forever. For whatever reason he or she disliked my video, he or she also wanted to help me achieve my goals, and even encouraged me to do so. What a great result!